One out of Five stars
Running time: 83 mins

Dismal Martin Lawrence comedy, even by his own lousy standards – an entirely laugh-free 83 minutes, spent in the company of irritating characters.

What's it all about?
Martin Lawrence stars as police chief James Porter, an over-protective father whose teenage daughter Melanie (Raven Symone) has just graduated high school. However, when Melanie declares that she's going to take a girls-only road trip around the country to check out prospective universities, James insists that he chaperone her himself.

With his young son Trey (Eshaya Draper) along for the ride, to say nothing of Trey's pet pig Albert (yes, there's a pet pig - it's that kind of film), it isn't long before things go horribly wrong. Meanwhile, Melanie has secretly lined up an interview at the college of her choice – will she get to keep her all-important appointment?

The Bad
Imagine being stuck on a road trip with Martin Lawrence – that's how bad this movie is. Leaving aside the sneaky title (no doubt hoping teenagers would think it was related to Road Trip and Euro Trip – those movies may have been bad but at least they were funny) and the fact that the derivative script bears a shocking resemblance to Ice Cube's Are We There Yet?, this is staggeringly tedious, desperately unfunny stuff, even by Lawrence's already pretty poor standards.

The problem is that the characters are all so thoroughly irritating that you don't care about any of them. Also, you have to feel sorry for Donny Osmond, making a return to the big screen after an absence of 30 years, only to play an annoying happy-clappy, showtune-singing caricature (he plays Doug Greenhunt, an equally over-protective father who offers James and Melanie a lift when they crash their car).

The Worst
Needless to say, none of the jokes come close to raising a laugh. Let's face it, you know you're in trouble when even your comedy pig isn't delivering the yuks.

Worth seeing?
In short, College Road Trip is a dismal comedy with irritating characters and a total lack of laughs. For bad movie masochists only.